The believe that self-love is selfish and wrong blocks the flow of self-love. I think one reason why people hold onto this believe is because they’re not aware that there are two kinds of self-love. There is ego-based self-love which is a conditional love that cares only about what the ego cares about. And there is spirit-based self-love which is an unconditional love that wants healing, health and happiness for the whole person.
The reason why there are two kinds of self-love is because we are made of both spirit and ego and both try to guide us through life although the ego’s voice is much louder and insistent.
Without knowing that there are two kinds of self-love, one might assume that ego-based self-love is the only kind of self-love that there is. Then when people see the selfish and destructive behavior that ego-based self-love can sometimes produce, they justifiably disapprove of the concept of self-love.
As we pursue spirit-based unconditional self-love and learn how to pay attention to what we need concerning our spirit, mind and body, it teaches us what other people also need concerning their spirit, mind and body. And this allows us to express our love on a deeper level.
If we don’t love ourselves and take care of ourselves, we will burn-out and most likely face serious health issues. And then we won’t be able to help and contribute to life in the way that we want to.
So think of unconditional self-love as a fuel that allows us to keep moving forward as we learn to pace ourselves, rest and set healthy boundaries.
Now we are free to release the false believe that self-love is selfish and wrong and embrace unconditional self-love as something good and valuable to pursue.
Note: This blog entry was inspired by my book, Unconditional Self-love:What it is, Why it’s important, and How to nurture it in your life.