Self-hate or the lack of self-love, can be difficult to detect because it can feel so natural. Here is a list to help us recognize if we need more self-love in our lives.
Before reading this list, remember to create a safe space of observation before looking inward. Which means to promise ourselves when we look inward to be a neutral observer or witness rather than a critical judge. If we feel a sense of judgement from ourselves, it can trigger self-defensiveness, shut us down, and block us from finding our truth.
This exercise is about getting to know ourselves better and not about feeling guilt, shame or regret. If we can identify where we lack self-love, it will give us a starting point to work from and to grow from.
From this starting point, let’s offer ourselves some understanding, forgiveness and encouragement. We have so much potential inside of us to live a happier, healthier and more fulfilling life.
- We feel unhappy about our lives.
- We always feel criticized.
- We ignore our health problems and our feelings of exhaustion.
- We always put the needs of others before our own.
- We find it hard to leave abusive relationships. Instead we make accuses for those who hurt us.
- We are not making time for stress management, creative expression or fun.
- We engage in addictive behaviors in order to cope.
- It’s hard to slow down or be honest with ourselves.
- We feel stuck in a rut.
- We feel like something is missing from our lives.
- We easily give up on ourselves and on our dreams.
- Our outer beauty is more important to us than our inner beauty.
- We allow people to take advantage of us because we find it hard to say no, and we find it hard to say no because we fear the rejection of others.
- People drain our energy because we are not setting proper boundaries.
- Our imagination always conjures up visions of the worst case scenario when we are concerned about a situation or a health problem.
- We feel unresolved angry and lose control of ourselves.
- We feel invisible and that our opinions do not matter.
- We constantly apologize for ourselves.
- We are convinced that we are stupid and have nothing to offer.
- We feel our sexuality is the only thing we have to offer our mate.
- We feel shame, embarrassment, or anger when we think that someone is criticizing us.
- Our thoughts are more about the past than and the present.
- We neglect the needs of our family and friends.
- We don’t have nurturing friendships.
- We find it hard to be nice to people and to care about people.
- We feel like hurting others or hurting ourselves.
Note: This blog post was inspired by my book, Unconditional Self-love:What it is, Why it’s important, and How to nurture it in your life
I will continue to share Lessons in Unconditional Self-Love with you. It is my hope that my words inspire you to continue, to renew or to begin your commitment to always love yourself with unconditional love. I will post Lessons in Unconditional Self-Love on a regular basis 2 to 4 times a month. And I hope you will join me and share with me your thoughts and experiences.